Interpreting Music… Walrus style. #3

You all know the drill by now! This is the section where I try to find new, great artists to listen to and enjoy, usually failing miserably. I’m not going to go back into grime yet again, we’ve had quite enough of that lately.

Tinie Tempah.

I’ll forgive this gentleman for not being able to spell either of his names correctly, as he’s wearing glasses. We all know that people who wear glasses are naturally 3-16% more intelligent* than those who don’t, so I’m going to give him the benefit of the doubt and accept that his music is probably amazing, with thought provoking, yet beautiful lyrics and a flowing accompanying melody. The two songs I’ll be looking at are ‘Simply Unstoppable’ and ‘Hitz’ which also features Chase & Status, who I actually enjoy the music of normally.

*study conducted by me, comparing myself with glasses to myself without glasses on any given day over a 24 year period.

I like it. It’s ridiculous, it’s shit, but not shit in a bad way. More like shit in the “the Village people were shit because they were a silly gimmick” sort of way more than the context of “Oh God, Adele’s on the radio again, what a load of shit”.

Selected lyric: “Blah. Yeah. Simple. Honey I’m a fine boy, no pimples, I’ve done deja vu, I’ve done dingles and *naughty word* everybody wants me on their single. My mum’s forty four years with no wrinkles, I’ve got a hundred thousand on me I could sprinkle, all year my house covered in tinsel, I gone pop and I won’t stop, Pringles™ YEAH!”
What I think the artist is trying to convey: “I’m good looking, my mum’s good looking, I’m quite rich, Woooah ah oh I WISH IT COULD BE CHRISTMAS, EVERY DAYYYYY!, Buy Pringles™!”

Okay, so this one is terrible… but… the lyrics are actually hilarious. The guy’s a comedy genius.

Selected lyric: “Baa Baa Black Sheep, Rock Star, Rap G, Make enough dough to own a black card, that’s me! I’ve been getting real fuckin’ friendly with the banks man, and I don’t mean Phil, Carlton, Hilary or Ashley! Papz see me up in the vicinity and flash me, I’m the definition of definitive and catchy! The only thing that’s bigger, quicker, slicker, more black and more upper London is a taxi.”
What I think the artist is trying to convey: “In West Philadelphia, born and raised, on the playground where I spent most of my days, chillin’ out, maxing, relaxing all cool, and all shooting some B-ball outside of the school, when a couple of guys that were up to no good, started making trouble in my neighbourhood, I got in one little fight and my mum got scared and said “you’re moving with your auntie and uncle in Bel Air!”.”

Overall: 6/10 fish. Yeah, he’s not great by any means, the music is pretty bad in itself, but he comes across as quite an amusing guy, and at least he’s not rapping about popping a cap in someone’s ass, eh?

Panjabi MC.

Exploring other cultures might help this series of posts. I haven’t looked into anything from the Eastern world yet, so let’s see how that goes. I’m quite optimistic, as always. The two songs I have picked are ‘Panjaban’ and ‘Mundian To Bach Ke’.

Eh, kinda repetitive, don’t you think?

Selected lyric: I couldn’t find them to be honest, so “DINGADINGADINGADINGADINGADINGA”
What I think the artist is trying to convey: “Oppan Bhangra style!”

Wait, isn’t this the same song?!

Selected lyric: “Neemia tu phuj pake rak leh, pelhe vich mukra lukake rakh leh, Neemia tu phuj pake rak leh, pelhe vich mukra lukake rakh leh, Emmi kari na kisa de nal pyar mundian to bach ke rahin.”
What I think the artist is trying to convey: “Try to be best, cause you’re only a man, and a man’s gotta learn to take it, try to believe, though the going gets rough, that you gotta hang tough to make it, history repeats itself, try and you’ll succeed, never doubt that you’re the one, and you can have your dreams, YOU’RE THE BEST! AROUND! NOTHING’S EVER GONNA KEEP YOU DOWN! YOU’RE THE BEST! AROUND! NOTHING’S EVER GONNA KEEP YOU DOOOOOOOWN!”

Overall: I’d be lying if I said this was my scene. I’m going to have to give it 2/10 fish. I’m sorry.


This peculiar bunch up next. One of the stranger bands going, but they’ve been at it for nearly 30 years, so they must be doing something right! I’m kind of cheating with this one because I already know I like them. I’m going to look at ‘Jerry was a Race Car Driver’ and ‘Lacquer Head’.

Almost trance-like and surreal, it goes through a number of different melodies whilst also being incredibly strange/catchy.

Selected lyric: “Jerry was a race car driver, 22 years old, One too many Camparis one night and wrapped himself around a telephone pole.”
What I think the artist is trying to convey: “Drink-driving’s bad, m’kay?”

Wow, what a hypnotic bassline, as always!

Selected lyric: “Lacquer head feeds his one desire, Lacquer head sets his brain on fire, Lacquer head knows no in betweens, Huffin’ on bags of gasoline, Keep on sniffin’ till yer brain goes pop!”
What I think the artist is trying to convey: “Drugs are bad, m’kay?”

Overall: 7/10 fish. I like them for their novelty, they’re quite surreal and tell incredibly strange stories in all of their songs while having an incredibly talented bassist/singer in Les Claypool.


This strange folk-metal band, hailing from Finland (if you didn’t guess from the name) are next on the list. Mixing old Finnish fables with the anger and energy of black metal, they certainly create a unique sound. ‘Trollhammaren’ and ‘Asfågelns Död’.

The ultimate party song (if you’re a Finnish troll hunter returning from battle and you speak Swedish, the language the lyrics are in).

Selected lyric (English translation): “Among shadows rides a beast, Like a black tree, Grips tightly on a mighty hammer, Out for weak Christian blood, TROLL-HAMMER! TROLL-HAMMER!”
What I think the artist is trying to convey: “Trolls are pretty aggressive things. They like to drink blood, it reminds them of a better time, a simpler time, when they didn’t have to fill in their tax returns.”

Reminds me of a song about pirates… I’ll resist the urge to say which. It’s tempting though.

Selected lyric (English translation): “Days are tearing, days are toiling, Feed brother worm with food, End the lives of the heaven’s pest, Vulture of christianity’s threat”
What I think the artist is trying to convey: “Shit, I left the oven on.”

Overall: 5/10 fish. They could have at least had English lyrics to begin with, those selfish bastards.


I can’t resist it, now that I’ve thought of it, this was inevitable. What a way to end off the post! The songs I’ll be looking at are ‘You are a pirate’ by Lazytown and the ‘You are a pirate’ cover by Scottish pirate-metal band Alestorm.

This song really makes me want to be a pirate.

Selected lyrics: “Yar – har – fiddle-dee-dee, being a pirate is all right to be! Do what you want ’cause a pirate is free, you are a pirate!”
What I think the artist is trying to convey: “Kids should dream of being a pirate!”

This song makes me want to be a pirate even more so.

Selected lyrics: “Yar – har – fiddle-dee-dee, being a pirate is all right to be! Do what you want ’cause a pirate is free, you are a pirate!”
What I think the artist is trying to convey: “EVERYONE should dream of being a pirate!”

Overall: This may be the best pirate song ever recorded. 10/10 fish. I’m off to make someone walk the plank.

Fun fact of the day: Behemoth is a beast mentioned in Job 40:15-24. Suggested identities range from dinosaur to crocodile to a mythological creature. Metaphorically, the name has come to be used for any extremely large or powerful entity.

The Walrus has spoken.


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